By Diane Lockward
From Eve’s Red Dress, copyright 2003

Today I dress for you

in scarlet. I am

a tomato, plump

and luscious. I pulsate

with seeds.

Today I clothe myself

in yellow. I am

a peach, succulent

and ripe.

For you, I swathe myself

in gold. I am

all melons, oranges,

tangerines, nectarines.

I am a garden of earthly delights.

I am the red apple

you would fall for

a thousand times.

I am the apricot you would die for.

I am all strawberries,

blueberries, raspberries,

and cherries, all these and more.

Today I am royal for you.

I dress in a gown

of purple plum.

Come, lift me out of my skin.

Lindsay Lohan supports my views on sex education!

The actress also put out a plea to parents, saying they need to “talk to their children about the things that can result from being sexually active.”

Maybe I can get her to be my Let’s Talk Month spokesperson!

I can’t say it any better than MOAPP (Minnesota Organization on Adolescent Pregnancy, Prevention and Parenting) says it:

Another high profile teen pregnancy has captured our collective attention. While the eyes of the nation are on the Palin family, let’s keep in mind that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston’s story is repeated almost 750,000 times every year in the United States.

Teen pregnancy occurs in all corners of society—young people from every race, class and family structure are represented in the U.S. teen pregnancy and birth ratesrates that exceed other developed countries by four to 11 times.

Bristol Palin is fortunate to have her family’s support, which can make all the difference in a teen parent’s life. When teen parent families succeed—when teen parents stay in school and make the transition to the work world, when their children are in good quality childcare and are ready to learn when they start school—we all succeed. Unfortunately, we don’t focus enough attention on public policies that support these families.

But this story demands another look at the federally subsidized “abstinence-until-marriage” industry—more than $200 million more will be spent again this year on programs that show NO evidence of working. Federal support for “abstinence” programs has created an ill-prepared sub-culture of young people who lack the tools needed to build healthy relationships, or navigate our sex-obsessed popular culture.

This is why I support comprehensive sex education in the home, school and community.

Those (few) of you who read this blog may not know that I also write two blogs for Sensovi, where I work as the Director of Education and Programs.

Get Talking focuses on equipping parents to talk to kids about sex.

Sensovi Blog (I haven’t been able to think of a good blog title yet!) is the blog I do to highlight sexual health news and events.

Please check them out and get the feeds if you’re interested.

Sensovi also has a Facebook page - Become a Fan!

A woman watches her body uneasily, as though it were an unreliable ally in the battle for love.

- Leonard Cohen

image by Kellya, found on etsy.com

Reading Eat, Pray, Love has got me thinking about pleasure. One of life’s greatest pleasures has got to be sitting down to a big bowl of pasta. Warm and creamy pasta.

I have been trying to find a local place that serves a specific pasta dish I have been craving. Nothing fancy, just cream sauce over tortellini with peas and proscuitto.

God Bless Rachelle Mee-Chapman at her blog Food Hero - where she posted a recipe!!! (She also has a lovely blog, Magpie Girl ).

I will be making this soon, and savoring every bite. I only wish this particular pleasure was less damaging to my waistline.

Yep, you read that right, conservatives are calling for more sex on TV - more *married* sex, that is.

In a study out this month called Happily Never After: How Hollywood Favors Adultery and Promiscuity Over Marital Intimacy on Prime Time Broadcast Television, the Parents Television Council states that “broadcast networks depict sex in the context of marriage as either nonexistent or burdensome.”

I have noticed this myself, though I watch very little television. What I have seen, however, is that sitcoms like “Everybody Loves Raymond” or “King of Queens” consistently show married sex as a chore or as a tool for manipulation. I am hard-pressed to think of more than two or three happily married TV couples that actually enjoy a healthy sexual relationship.

I disagree, however, with the PTC’s assertion that it constitutes a deliberate Hollywood conspiracy to “undermine marriage by consistently showing it in a negative manner.” Instead I think it reflects

• the difficulty people have in being honest about what healthy sexuality looks like
• the reality that a lot of marriages are suffering from sexual boredom and neglect
• that it is easier to laugh at people’s misfortune (ie. a “frigid” wife) than to honestly examine the challenge in keeping monogamy exciting and enjoyable

(But I don’t mean it the way you probably think I mean it!)

I want his body, because I want to know what it feels like to be fast, confident, strong and powerful.

I have never been an athlete, and after three 10-pound babies, my belly is “like a bowl full of jelly” (a la Santa Claus). I am in awe of his sleek, muscular body that seems to be completely under his control. He seems indestructible and unstoppable. He is amazing.

Il bel far niente is Italian for “the beauty of doing nothing” - an ability that most Americans lack. As Elizabeth Gilbert says in Eat, Pray, Love:

“Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn to theme parks to wars, but that’s not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment.”

Her difficulty with pleasure sounds familiar:

“A major obstacle in my pursuit of pleasure was my ingrained sense of Puritan guilt. Do I really deserve this pleasure? This is very American too - the insecurity about whether we have earned our happiness.”

How did she change her beliefs about pleasure? Instead of attacking her pursuit of pleasure in Italy as a homework assignment, asking “How is pleasure most efficiently maximized?” and interviewing Italy’s best pleasure seekers, she says:

“When I realized that the only question at hand was, “How do I define pleasure?” and that I was truly in a country where people would permit me to explore that question freely, everything changed. Everything became . . . delicious.”

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Kiran Dodeja Smith of Little Ones Magazine for an article called “The Big Talk.”

I am so pleased that Little Ones took on this topic, and I have already received positive feedback from people who want more encouragement and insight about how to talk to their kids about sex. For ongoing information, parents can refer to a blog I do for Sensovi, Get Talking.

In October, I will be doing several speaking engagements in support of “Let’s Talk Month” which is a national initiative which aims to get parents to talk to their kids about healthy sexuality. Events will be posted on the blog and I am committed to keeping it updated throughout the year.

But, you don’t have to wait until October to talk to your kids, “Get Talking” today!