Here’s an example taken from an excerpt of a cleint’s list: Husband #1: controlling, manipulative, liar, bad with money, unfaithful, angry Live-in Boyfriend: addicted to porn, controlling, uneducated, bad temper Husband #2: boring, jealous, controls money, withdrawn, lazy Commonalities: controlling, anger problems (either expressive or withdrawn)Her reaction to seeing this list was “Wow!” and then a long sigh. She said she knew her early relationships were volatile, but she had thought that her second husband was very different from the rest because he was quiet and a homebody. After looking at her complete list, she realized that she went from one kind of controlling partner (one who verbally and physically bullied her to get his way) to another kind of controlling partner (one who withdrew from her emotionally and monetarily to get his way). When we talked through why she might be attracted to controlling men, at first she said she is definitely NOT attracted to men like that. Yet her list tells a different story. The story she tells herself is that she is looking for a man who treats her as an equal, who trusts her to make decisions, and who respects her. The story her list tells is that she consistently gets involved with men who do not treat her well. Upon deeper reflection, she said that while she wants a man to trust her, she realizes maybe she doesn’t trust herself. Since she has never taken control of her own life, it is easier for her to be with people who control it for her. That way, she can be a martyr and get sympathy about how poorly she is treated, and she also is absolved from taking responsibility and taking risks. Now that she knows her pattern, she can work on taking more control of her own life so that she gains confidence and no longer looks for a man who will bully her. If you’re struggling to break bad love habits, give this exercise a try.
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