I was flipping through the book “The Dirt on Sex” last night. It’s a Christian book aimed at talking to kids about sex — “It’s real. It’s raw. It’s true. It’s the dirt.”

Author Justin Lookadoo does give some good physiological information, such as the fact that sperm is present in pre-ejaculate and that a girl can get pregnant at any time during her cycle. And while it’s true that many sexually active teens wish they had waited longer to have sex, Lookadoo is heavy-handed as he repeatedly talks about the “guilt” and “shame” some teens experience.

He paints a very ugly picture of sex with comments like: “with oral sex you give the power to destroy you to the other person” and “the rush of self-hate because you have given someone a very private, intimate experience and it was treated as a joke.” He clearly believes that teenage sex is always without genuine feeling because boys only use sex to prove they’re not gay and to impress their friends, and girls only get pressured into sex when they have a low self-image. That is overly-simplistic and sexist.

It’s wrong to promise kids that “married virgins do it best.” First, only 5% of people are virgins when they get married, so it’s pretty rare for two virgins to get married. Second, plenty of virgins have sexual problems when they get married. And plenty of non-virgins have terrific married sex lives.

Sorry Justin, your “truth” is a bit muddy.