This comment blew me away. I have had a habit of choosing guys who needed “fixed” and it always ended poorly. I knew inside I was a beautiful woman inside and out, but my self esteem wasn’t the best and neither were my choices. Three years ago I met a wonderful, healthy man and I have been amazed with myself and our relationship. He’s calm, intelligent, makes me laugh and it feels like he is my teammate. He’s always there for me, without being needy. I have told him over the years how healing his love is for me. When I read this quote, I was like, Yes!! That’s what I have been saying! Thank you.

Mike- I am glad you’ve found a way to love and be loved through your brokenness.

Angela,

I understand that quote to say that love does more than make us feel better in the present, it also helps to heal the wounds of our past and gives us strength to move forward. I really like his visual of the “ripples”…

You said “restored” but the author said “restoring” — and I think that’s an important distinction. I don’t think he’s implying that love will completely heal all wounds, but instead that through loving and being loved we are able to engage in a process of restoration — a process which is ongoing. We are more able to act out of fullness (knowing who we are and standing in our power) instead of acting out of emptiness.

It reminds me of this other quote that I like:

“Marriage is not supposed to make you happy. It is supposed to make you married, and once you are safely and totally married, then you have a structure of security and support from which you are free to make yourself happy, rather than wasting your adulthood to look for a structure.”
From Grow Up! by Dr. Frank Pittman

(And I want to be clear that I don’t think it has to be “marriage” in the traditional/legal sense — I think any nurturing and healthy relationship (including deep friendships) can offer the same supportive environment which enables us to emerge from our murky emotional past.)

I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on this!