A common complaint I hear from women* is that they’re too caught up in the craziness of daily life to relax and enjoy sex. So they either avoid it whenever possible, or “fulfill their wifely duty” and go through the motions (all the while distracted by the dirty laundry piled up on the floor, the dog barking next door, or the light on in the hallway).

One way to transition from sensory overload to sensual calm is to do some relaxation and meditation exercises. These practices can help you tune in to your body and be present in the moment – skills helpful in situations outside of the bedroom too.

For transitioning from the domestic to the erotic, a CD like Love Well can help orient your thoughts toward intimacy and pleasure. Certified Hypnotherapist Janet Montgomery provides  20 minutes of guided imagery, and Jeff Gold provides the music.

What I appreciated about this CD is that it could be used by anyone (any gender, any orientation) – unlike other CDs I’ve heard that were distracting because they were too specific, too “guided.” The goal here isn’t to insert fantasies into your mind, but to create a space for you to relax into your own sensual longings. You can listen to a sample on the Live Well Series website.

Experiment for a while and see what works for you. Some clients have found a ten minute video on YouTube.com helpful, some do yoga stretches, some listen to soothing music, some listen to a meditation CD, and some have taught themselves how to do progressive muscle relaxation.

If you frequently feel too anxious for sex, learn how to slow down and set aside the worries of the day. Instead of feeling burdened as if sex is another item on your “to-do” list, think of it as a reward – a time for you to enjoy the pleasures of your body and the connection you have with your partner. Satisfying sex can actually decrease your stress level and bring some of the peace and calm that you long for.

If you have a favorite technique or resource for transitioning from sensory overload to sensual calm, please add it in the comments.

*I need to point out that not only women complain of being too stressed out or distracted for sex. It’s a common misconception that only women avoid or turn down sex.

[I received the Love Well CD free for purposes of review]