I grew up in – and continue to celebrate faith in – a very liberal/progressive Christian denomination in Canada.

As a teen in the 80s, I remember discussions about the place of sex in our lives as faithful people – and the realities of trying to have bodies, minds, and spirits that would recognize the gift of sexuality.

I’m not sure the same discussions are happening now – discussions that recognize that Christianity’s responses to our reality as sexual beings is not monolithic… and isn’t only the view lifted up by the fundamentalist part of Christ’s family.

I look forward to reading the book (and hope I can find it on the north side of the border!)

Christ’s peace – r

Ooo… I just ran across this book on another site and totally want it! It would be super helpful with the book Erika and I are trying to write. :] Glad they sent you a copy for review!

OMG I went to spencer lake! That is such a small world! I was lucky to have a great mother who wasn’t afraid to talk to us about sexuality, but at the same time the church atmosphere that I grew up in definitely affected my views on sex. It took me a while to sort it out. What always pissed me off was that the girls were always criticized for the way we dressed, like we can help how we are made. Instead of celebrating our bodies we were taught to cover them up “in case” we caused a “brother” to stumble. Im not saying that girls need to walk around slutting it up, but it isn’t slutty to wear clothes that fit you. It’s important to have an open discussion about sex and I am thankful that my mom talked to me about it. Relationship with your kids is priceless. Thanks for the post!

Annie

This looks like an interesting read. I look forward to checking it out.

I am still recovering from the warped ideas I received about my sexuality from the church. I am trying to do better with my own kids but still feel so unsure of myself. Nothing to model it on except an opposite reaction which I don’t think is the right approach either.

Thankful for your blog and others … it’s helping me continue toward health and to find a better way of communicating with my kids.

My story sounds similar to yours–especially the Bible camp bonus feature. Our camp had a prayer room behind the sanctuary which was hot, stuffy, and mosquito-infested. But, we were not dismissed to our cabins until each one of us dutifully put our knees down on that mildewed carpet and rested our elbows or foreheads on those scratchy wooden benches and prayed fervently until something happened. Usually the drama queens got “filled with the Spirit” pretty quickly. Then the ADD kids who were tired and feeling trapped got “blessed by God.” Finally, the quiet and shy types got their get-out-of-jail-cards and encouragement not to be depressed that God hadn’t “touched” them that night. This usually occured at about 10:00 p.m. because the counselors were tired and wanted to get on with their own post-service activities. Ah, Bible camp… the memories!

It would have been so much fun to be a mind reader in that room–where boys and girls kept sneaking peeks at each other and sending winks back and forth when the counselors were distracted because they were checking each other out. The fifth grade love notes I have from camp and from church services still make me laugh out loud. Hormones have a way getting thick and sticky when sex is never stirred but is furiously simmering below the “holy” surface.

This book sounds like a great read!

That sounds like such an interesting read! I’m currently attending a Christian university and the silence and discomfort around sexuality is alarming. Somehow I managed to escape the discomfort about the topic (I think because of a mom with feminist leanings) but for so many of my friends it is a frightening thing to think about and discuss.

I’m one of the co-editors of the WTF? Series to which _Oh God!_ belongs. Thanks for the great review.

As a youth minister in a UCC church, I’m always looking for healthy ways to talk to my kids about sex, some of whom are homosexual. We are exploring Our Whole Lives as curriculum for the youth, but this looks like an excellent resource for young adults!

I thought about joining your Facebook group and writing on the wall there but I am off FB for Lent. Why? Because I need to spend more time with my wife. Why? Because I came to realise very quickly that sex and romance in marriage is about far more than ticking a box becuase you turned up on your wedding night a virgin. It is rich, complex, mysterious and needs lots of creative investment. Now I work for a living helping young adults sift through much of what they learnt in the camps you described. We don’t just give out about all the crazy and cringy advice that was given but really get into decondtructing where it was all coming from. This book looks like an excellent contribution to what it a vital discussion.

I so want a copy of this book!!!!! I also grew up in a fundy church. We did talk about sex but so much of what was said left me with negative/judgmental thoughts about sex. Although I’m far from my upbringing I still have to fight against those messages that are so deeply ingrained in me from my formative years (not having to do with just sex). How refreshing that I am now finding communities where people speak openly and honestly about all aspects of their life and faith and we can celebrate who we are, rather than judge ourselves for every little thing we are or are not doing!

Remember the “afterglow” sessions they used to plan after evening worship at big youth events? I had no idea until much, much later that those were to give us time to wind down after the intensity of the day and the (almost always very emotional) worship, so we didn’t find our own ways of winding down… if you know what I mean.

When I’m working with youth I feel like I’m walking a tightrope between the frank and honest conversation about sexuality that the kids need and deserve to have, and the “just don’t do it” message I’ve gotten the idea that I’m supposed to give. What would the church folks say if I told the kids I don’t think it’s a sin to be gay? What would the kids’ parents say if we had a conversation about sex that didn’t include “you must wait till you get married”?

An adult leader I had in a statewide youth group I was part of getting into serious trouble with the powers-that-be because he told us that he thought sex without love was more of a sin than sex without marriage. One of the kids went home and told his parents about the conversation, and they were incensed and demanded this leader’s removal. He was removed, and we kids never felt safe trying to have an honest conversation in that group again, nor did the adult leaders feel safe leading us in such conversations.

I was raised long enough ago, that mom and dad never gave ‘The Talk’. I had to learn on my own. I have two teenage children right now, and trying to teach them healthy, Christian values about their sexuality is quite a dilemma. I would enjoy having a resource such as this to help guide them as they mature.

I hope I’m not too late in commenting! I work with a large (and growing) group of wonderful young teens at our inner city (Charlotte) church. The leadership is in the process of compiling resources and planning sessions with some pros (drs., social workers)to discuss sex/dating/sexuality with all our tweens and teens. I would love to read this book, and if I don’t win one, I will purchase a copy.

oh how I can relate to all of that. makes me shiver a little actually