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5.01.2010
Oooh! Interesting! I’d be really interested to hear how the conference goes.
I taught a (Catholic) confirmation lesson on morality and values, and more than anything, I wanted to impart that the whole “no sex before marriage” thing isn’t some arbitrary rule designed to make teens miserable. In the end, it’s about respecting yourself physically and emotionally and not jumping into a sexually active relationship before you’re in a safe, trust-filled relationship and a life stage where you can handle the potential consequences of your actions.
Before I got married (4 years ago), my husband and I had to attend a pre-marital class-thing where they talked about a variety of relevant topics, from handling finances to surviving common marital challenges to sex. I was really disappointed to find that the sex portion was just a 45 minute VIDEO by Christopher West. He said some of the most insulting things I’ve ever heard about birth control (i.e. using condoms is similar to pulling the plug on grandma in the nursing home rather than letting her die naturally. I wish I was kidding). It was ingratiating, full of logical fallacies and painfully preachy in a bad way. I was insulted that they couldn’t even have an honest, open discussion with ADULTS about positive sexual relationships. Instead they popped in a video like we were in 4th grade again.
Don’t get me wrong – I love being Catholic despite some of the church’s pitfalls. I love that they make couples go through what’s essentially pre-marriage counseling, and this is such a great opportunity to talk about the real challenges and benefits that come with married intimacy. The marriage prep program varies by diocese, and I can only hope other areas do it better than mine did.
5.20.2010
Wow Kate, that story about your sex-talk errr.. video at pre-marriage counseling almost blew my mind – unfortunately, I suppose I’m not that surprised.
I forgot what I originally was going to comment. My assumption is that church leaders all across North America have a hard time talking about sex with people coming to talk to them about relationships. Most of the time we’re just passed a book or a video ugh.
Anyway, Becky, would love to hear how it went at the conference and what you spoke about… and the reactions
I wish I lived closer so I could have gone.
(This is my first comment here… been following your blog for awhile
Julie