Another wise and wonderful TED talk from Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity:

• How do you want something you already have?
• When you’re in love, how does it feel? And when you desire, how is that different?
• A crisis of desire is a crisis of imagination.
• Sex is not something you do, it’s a place you go — a space you enter.
• Animals have sex. We are the only ones who have an erotic life.

I watched When Harry Met Sally last weekend for the umpteenth time — So many great scenes and memorable quotes, i.e. “I’ll have what she’s having.”

And now it seems a study has proved Harry was on to something when he said “Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” It also shows that he was right about a few other things:

• Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa
• Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them
• Men were more willing to act on this mistakenly perceived mutual attraction.
• Although men were equally as likely to desire “romantic dates” with “taken” friends as with single ones, women were sensitive to their male friends’ relationship status and uninterested in pursuing those who were already involved with someone else.

Brene Brown , researcher/storyteller, shares what it takes to create and maintain connection — simply, vulnerability. It’s difficult, but necessary.

You are enough.
Be whole-hearted.

We took the kids to see WALL-E at the Sylvia Theater last night.

The reviews of WALL-E have been overwhelmingly positive, as they should be. It’s another fantastic Pixar creation. As everyone has been raving, the movie takes some bold risks: very little dialogue, no radio-friendly hit songs, lack of celebrity voices, etc. It also addresses some not-so-fun issues like apathy, consumerism and the impending destruction of Earth.

However, I haven’t seen any reviewer address the things that I noticed. I guess all that sexological training has actually permeated my brain!

A sexologist’s observations:
1) Even though I would assume that robots are a-sexual, we automatically assume WALL-E is male, and when EVE arrives, we assume she is a female. Sure, the names are clues, but I also think it’s interesting that the male is angular, boxy, and with sharp edges. Anyone else notice that EVE is smooth and round?
2) Pay attention to the “body” language. I find it so interesting that even robots can assume the obvious mating stances and dances. There are universal “mating calls” that animals, humans, and now robots engage in.
3) An essential aspect of being human is the desire for intimate contact. WALL-E and EVE would be little more than metal and wires were it not for their desire for connectedness. Why do we attribute them with “feelings?” Why do we empathize with their plight? Because they embody feelings: fear, desire, annoyance, attraction. It’s sad that these robots are more in tune with their bodies and their feelings than many humans are.
4) How are the humans continuing the species? Seriously. Removed from earth for 700 years, they are now so lazy and fat that they can barely move. How are they getting their groove on?
5) When is Pixar going to make a movie with a female heroine? I am a fan of Pixar’s work, but I am beginning to wonder what they have against Sheroes.
6) I didn’t make the association while watching the film, and most people probably wouldn’t notice, but this image in particular has some strong sexual connotations: