“Turning a human being into a ‘thing’ is almost always the first step towards justifying violence against that person.”

Is Jean Kilbourne ‘s message empowering to women, or does it harm women by casting them as victims in a vast body-image conspiracy?

The following is an excerpt from a piece that ran in the Charlotte Observer and highlighted the important work of Barbara Green, a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor therapy. I am thrilled that more women will learn that there is hope for treatment of pelvic pain!

This bit, from the end of the article, is exactly why I help women overcome sexual pain. It can be destructive in so many ways, but it can be overcome!

Karen Davis of York County, S.C., just south of Charlotte, found out about the treatment after she’d been married for 18 years without having intercourse. She married as a teenager and hadn’t been able to use a tampon or have a pelvic exam because the pain felt like “a razor blade cut.”

Davis said she and her husband found other ways to have sex – she called it “outercourse.” And the years went by. “We had a very satisfying sex life until we wanted to have children.”

Tension over that issue led to their divorce. Only later did Davis learn physical therapy could treat her condition – vaginismus.

On the Internet, she found Barbara Green and started physical therapy. In less than four months, she was able to have intercourse, without pain, for the first time.

“It’s changed my life,” she said. “I just wish I could have found her a long time ago.”

Davis’ ex-husband is now remarried, with children. Talking about it makes her cry. She had wanted kids too.

“I battled with it my entire life,” Davis said. “Now I’m 46 and treated, but it’s too late.”

Today, she tells other women about physical therapy for pelvic pain through an Internet support group.

“That’s my salvation,” she said, “being able to help other people.”

Read more

I have not had a lot of time to read lately, either the many books stacked up on tables and shelves throughout the house or the many blogs and twitter feeds I subscribe to, but I did manage to find four really wonderful blog posts recently that made me think, smile and in one case, bust out laughing a half dozen times. Read more…

Do you wish you had more desire for sex?

Would you like to take your sex life from “good” to “great”?

Maybe you want to learn to orgasm?

The E-Sensual Woman program that I facilitate at Sensovi Institute addresses all of these issues, and more. It’s for any woman who wants to explore what it means to be a sensual, sexual woman. It was designed by Dr. Lisa Terrell, a counselor and Sex Therapist with over 20 years of experience helping people improve their relationships and sex lives. Read more…

Okay, this is a clever ad to promote noodles that “won’t swell.” And just because I’d be lumped into the first bowl of noodles, doesn’t mean I can’t take a joke.

However, this ad is more than just another take on “fat=undesirable” and “skinny=desirable.” It also shows the overweight women as lifeless and just, well … blobs. The skinny women are coy and cooing and looking ever eager to please.

So here is another example of how we perpetuate the message that overweight women have nothing to offer and are unappealing, and that thin women are always sexy and interested in being consumed.

That mode of thinking is not helpful to anyone. Not to the women who want to believe they can be desirable no matter what their size, and not to the men who wonder why their girlfriends/wives won’t open up sexually.

This is so disturbing, but I post it in an effort to bring awareness to this tragedy.

Thanks to The Tiny Voice of Reason for posting it here.

The image on the left is what art-reproduction companies are marketing as a representation of Botticelli’s famous Birth of Venus painting, so reports Ten Apples and a Flat Sponge.

Are you a schemer? conformist? social worker?

Some people pick up on non-verbal cues more readily than others, and I seem to have a knack for reading people. I’ve been interested in learning more about body language, so I picked up a copy of The Body Language of Sex, Power, and Aggression at the local Goodwill. It’s  a quick, easy read, and outdated by now. However, it did contain some curious tidbits. I especially liked this research about how women cross their legs:

• The organizer is turned on by neatness and order, and she can be spotted by the parallel way in which she holds her legs.
• The schemer is ambitious and competitive. She crosses above the knees and dangles one shoe, flirting but rarely delivering.
• The conformist sits on one leg, and she’s a slow starter. She likes being told what to do.
• The perfectionist crosses above her knees and twists her legs. She’s thought to be insecure and anxious, but sympathetic.
• The social worker crosses at the ankles and holds her knees apart. She’s affectionate and generous if you’re in trouble.
• The emancipated woman keeps her legs wide apart, crossing at the calves, almost in a lotus position. She’s “independent and unconventional.”
• The philanthropist holds her legs apart without crossing. She’s warm, easy-going and good-humored.

Both when I originally read this (over lunch at Noodle’s) and now as I type at my desk, I am sitting in the “social worker” position.

How about you?