However, this ad is more than just another take on “fat=undesirable” and “skinny=desirable.” It also shows the overweight women as lifeless and just, well … blobs. The skinny women are coy and cooing and looking ever eager to please.

So here is another example of how we perpetuate the message that overweight women have nothing to offer and are unappealing, and that thin women are always sexy and interested in being consumed.

That mode of thinking is not helpful to anyone. Not to the women who want to believe they can be desirable no matter what their size, and not to the men who wonder why their girlfriends/wives won’t open up sexually.

Fat Women are Gross; Skinny Women are To Be Consumed is a post from: Living Sexuality

Parents Approve of "Corrective Rape" is a post from: Living Sexuality

I came across this piece by Tracey Emin, a leading member of the group known as Britartists or YBAs (Young British Artists).

If you click on the picture and read the wiki about it, you’ll discover that the title is to be taken literally. I assumed it was a euphemism for sexual partners, but it’s about more than sex, it’s about who nurtures us. One of the names appliqued on the tent is that of Tracey’s grandmother:

I used to lay in her bed and hold her hand. We used to listen to the radio together and nod off to sleep. You don’t do that with someone you don’t love and don’t care about.

It got me thinking about the names that would be inside my tent – those people that shared that intimate space with me. How have they impacted my ability (or inability) to be intimate with others?

Everyone I Have Ever Slept With is a post from: Living Sexuality

from franticmeerkat's shop on etsy.com

The Female Chooses is a post from: Living Sexuality

The image on the left is what art-reproduction companies are marketing as a representation of Botticelli’s famous Birth of Venus painting, so reports Ten Apples and a Flat Sponge.

What's wrong with this picture? is a post from: Living Sexuality

Some people pick up on non-verbal cues more readily than others, and I seem to have a knack for reading people. I’ve been interested in learning more about body language, so I picked up a copy of The Body Language of Sex, Power, and Aggression at the local Goodwill. It’s  a quick, easy read, and outdated by now. However, it did contain some curious tidbits. I especially liked this research about how women cross their legs:

• The organizer is turned on by neatness and order, and she can be spotted by the parallel way in which she holds her legs.
• The schemer is ambitious and competitive. She crosses above the knees and dangles one shoe, flirting but rarely delivering.
• The conformist sits on one leg, and she’s a slow starter. She likes being told what to do.
• The perfectionist crosses above her knees and twists her legs. She’s thought to be insecure and anxious, but sympathetic.
• The social worker crosses at the ankles and holds her knees apart. She’s affectionate and generous if you’re in trouble.
• The emancipated woman keeps her legs wide apart, crossing at the calves, almost in a lotus position. She’s “independent and unconventional.”
• The philanthropist holds her legs apart without crossing. She’s warm, easy-going and good-humored.

Both when I originally read this (over lunch at Noodle’s) and now as I type at my desk, I am sitting in the “social worker” position.

How about you?

What Are Your Legs Saying About You? is a post from: Living Sexuality

It’s Joan of Arc‘s birthday (c.1412):

“One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.”

Happy Birthday Joan (1412-1431) is a post from: Living Sexuality

Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment,

you recognized yourself as a friend.

This is one of my favorite quotes from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. My sister gave me the book last time she visited, so when it came time for her birthday, I thought it would be fitting to get the quote inscribed on a bangle bracelet for her.

I took the “Buy Handmade” pledge and I am really trying to buy gifts that are handmade (kinda hard to do when your kid really wants a gameboy for her birthday!). Plus, it helps me justify my etsy.com addiction!

An Unguarded Moment is a post from: Living Sexuality

Today I dress for you

in scarlet. I am

a tomato, plump

and luscious. I pulsate

with seeds.

Today I clothe myself

in yellow. I am

a peach, succulent

and ripe.

For you, I swathe myself

in gold. I am

all melons, oranges,

tangerines, nectarines.

I am a garden of earthly delights.

I am the red apple

you would fall for

a thousand times.

I am the apricot you would die for.

I am all strawberries,

blueberries, raspberries,

and cherries, all these and more.

Today I am royal for you.

I dress in a gown

of purple plum.

Come, lift me out of my skin.

The Fruitful Woman is a post from: Living Sexuality

- Leonard Cohen

image by Kellya, found on etsy.com

The Eye of the Beholder is a post from: Living Sexuality